Monday, September 23, 2019

MST3K This Island Earth Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Movie


What is this? (21:46)
Well, let's see what this baby can do. (48:50)
Aghhh! Ooh. (28:23)
What is that, hmm? (4:39)
Oh mommy! (01:00:11)
(sounds of fear) (01:04:39)
Your friends are here. (46:19)
(whispering) Shh, be quiet, we go that way. (42:55)
(whispering) Sh-sh we're in a whole lotta trouble get your parachute on. (32:29)
Why? (01:00:02)
Cause it's time to die. (32:41)
Oh hi, Mike! (5:25)
Yeah right, okay, let's see here. (26:51)
(metal scraping sounds) Don't! (scream) (27:59)
Farther toward the kill zone, please. (24:23)
Hey! What are you doing? You're sitting on me! (31:13)
God, I'm good. (24:27)
(crying) (44:54)
Oh good one, Mike! (28:33)
Oh there. (44:56)
Well! (51:49)
Into the hot tub? (37:44)
I'm a little busy! (44:18)
Uh, no. (39:42)
I dare you. (39:49)
Naa-nu. (24:02)
Naa-nu. Dum, dum, dum, dum. (47:44)
(giggling) (43:06)

The mst3k movie wasn't available on youtube so I had to use Tubitv which does have almost the same features as youtube, and is a good upload of the film with clear picture and sound. I had to use alternate episode links to other titles as well. Those being 'Revenge of the Creature', 'The Deadly Mantis', 'The Thing That Couldn't Die', and 'Final Justice' which were all available at MST3K Club & Shout Factory TV. And this completes the menu ensembles.

Monday, September 16, 2019

MST3K Manos The Hands Of Fate Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode 


Hey look. (16:55)
(gasp) (36:07)
What are you doing here? (1:03:47)
Hey boy. (1:03:00)
The master will be very disturbed. (30:32)
Doggie go walkies? Hmm? Is that a good doggie? Yes! (53:39)
Oh-oh! (35:09)
Silence! Silence! (59:24) (original 39:59)*
You could hurt me? (14:55)
Kill! Kill! (1:14:11)
Whack him. Whack him good. (10:25)
Rreehrr reehrr! Reehr! (1:00:20)
Through! (50:39) (original 30:30)*
Through! (50:39) (original 30:30)*
Do you hear me?! (50:40) (original 30:31)*
Bob. (50:20)
Ouhh. Got him right in the sweet spot. (51:59)
Ugh, look at the pile he left. (35:53)
So, once again, in case you forgot, Manos, the hands of fate. (22:22)
It's starting over! No, no, no! (1:28:05)

*From the original film {Manos: The Hands Of Fate} without the riffing but
the MST3K timestamps where these bits occur in the episode are included,
and one line is looped to repeat twice in the menu.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

MST3K Diabolik Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Diabolik! (13:11)
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' up dough. (1:07:21)
D-Diabo? (1:01:39)
Guys, he sees us! (38:31)
Diab? How you doing? (1:01:41)
What's your price? (53:56)
Can I have another Ho Ho? (30:54)
All you got to do is push that button. (55:41)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on. (1:00:32)
Get it! (1:19:37)
Well, you guys have never tricked me so I guess it's okay. (1:27:04)
Right. (54:03)
It's gonna be great. (53:42)
Go ahead. (55:40)
Here goes! (beep) Wha-ooh-ooh... (25:59)
Hooray! (celebrating) We did it! Ha ha! We did it! (5:24)
Well, I mean we didn't really do it, but... (5:29)
This is most unprofessional. (55:49)
Well it was done by someone! (5:31)
(celebrating) Yes! Someone did it! It was done! (5:32)
Ha ha ha! Hoorah! Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!... (5:35)
(maniacal laughter) Okay yeah, it's not that funny. (13:23)

From The Shout! Box Set #39 XXXIX

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

MST3K The Amazing Transparent Man Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


You need anything, Poopie? (42:22)
Good morning. (58:38)
I have no idea what I'm doing. (23:30)
Servo! My God! I-I don't believe this. (2:26)
This has nothing to do with you, go on. (22:30)
I don't mean to interrupt, but uh... (2:35)
Unless something goes wrong, heh heh. (1:00:09)
Huh? (10:11)
Don't do that! (1:02:02)
(singing) Keep your eye on the guinea pig! (42:55)
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whooaaah-ahhh-whooo! (27:36)
Uh. You don't have to hold it there. (24:40)
Ah, now you can barely see him. (31:21)
Oh great! I'm just transparent-ish. (1:15:07)
He's always getting into one scrape after another. (27:45)
(laughing) (27:47)
Oh well, who needs fingers? (21:51)

From The Shout! Box Set #39 XXXIX

Saturday, September 7, 2019

MST3K Girls Town Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Yes, it's teenage hunk with Les Brown and his Band of Renown. (15:18)
(scatting) what's going on? (8:30)
Howdy! (9:00)
(singing) Listen to me, girl (yeah) (10:41)
(singing) Watch your P's and Q's (uh-huh) (10:43)
(singing) Or you're gonna have the girls town (ooh) blues! (10:44)
(singing) You go to Girl's Town (10:47)
Boo! (1:23:22)
Well if that's the way you want it. (1:25:05)
Golly, I just really love to scat! (22:34)
I think you're a zooful of weirdies. (45:06)
Well, later on, then. (9:03)
She bought it. Come on, let's scram. (1:09:01)
She-da-do-du-wah? (8:58)
Look out he's gonna scat! Nagh! (14:56)
Du-da-du-da-de-da-da-da. Stop it. Okay. (23:37)

From The Shout! Box Set #39 XXXIX

Monday, September 2, 2019

MST3K Track Of The Moon Beast Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


(intro music for California Lady) (26:10) (original 19:52)
I'm hung out in Chicago (27:14) (original 20:56)
With a California mind
Lady love and Lord above
These city mountains aren't my kind
Oh I've been wandering in circles
With just a guitar in my hand
Playing all them funky bar rooms
And drinking more than I can stand
California lady, won't you bring your love to me?
California lady, she's the one I wanna see.
My California lady
My California lady
My California lady
(music stops) (28:15) (original 21:58)
And now, from all of us here at Track of the Moon Beast, goodnight. (46:32)

*The menu song draws from the original film {Track of the Moon Beast} but the MST3K timestamps where the song occurs in the episode are included here as well.

From The Shout! Box Set #38 XXXVIII

Sunday, September 1, 2019

MST3K High School Big Shot Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Hey, Clay, have you seen my dinosaur anywhere? (1:30:51)
Aghh! (4:50)
Well, your movie this week is a real treat. (5:03)
(baby dinosaur bites) Ow! Jeez! Ah! Ah! Oh! (5:06)
No. (5:09)
I have nothing to say or feel about this situation. (33:37)
(projector starting)*
(singing) A high school big shot. (27:56)
That would be a specialty bread. (26:39)
(singing) Woo-yeah, high school big shot. (28:01)
Using them horns, yeah come on! (28:19)
Another great thing about bread, it's really great when you... (24:47)
Yeah that's fine. (24:50)
(singing) He's a big shot in high school. (28:09)
Big shot, big shot, big shot, big shot, big shot, big shot! (28:12)
(jazzy vocal) Big shot, hey! (jazzy vocalizing) (28:41)
Hit me. (28:47)
(projector stops)*

*The projector sounds are added sound effects.

From The Shout! Box Set #38 XXXVIII

Saturday, August 31, 2019

MST3K Colossus And The Headhunters Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Woh, woh, woh, woh, woh, woh, woh! (1:08:49)
Hey everybody, our captors are here. (15:28)
Your movie this week is Colossus and the Headhunters (5:17)
(music from the song Nummy Muffin CooCol Butter starts) (28:05)
I don't want Colossus and the Headhunters! (5:21)
What's a matter, little Frankie wankie goo-goo butter? (1:08:33)
Don't pay any attention to the big baby. (1:07:46)
Here, use snuggle. (5:06)
I don't want snuggle. (5:08)
Oh. (5:10)
Can I just ask, where's Colossus through all this? (1:15:01)
Relax and enjoy, naive fool. (4:58)
(sobbing) (5:01)
Nummy! (4:29)
Oh look at little nummy muffin coocol butter! (4:30)
How are you? Are you good? Are you? (4:32)
(squeaking) (4:26)
Uh. (cooing and happy pet sounds) Ahh. (1:30:55)

From The Shout! Box Set #38 XXXVIII

Friday, August 30, 2019

MST3K Invasion USA Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Let's just talk (48:03)
Hey look at me! (8:21)
Castro's an okay guy. (26:47)
Whoa-ho! Got a live one here. (22:19)
(laughing) Let's get on with it here, please. (16:44)
Please. (16:46)
Alright. (4:36)
It's just that you're so incredibly stupid and wrong. (4:40)
Well, this certainly is pleasant. (10:10)
I'm quite a guy. (2:59)
Communist. I... (24:50)
Everybody likes me. (3:00)
And control and repression. (15:19)
Just so incredibly stupid and wrong! (4:43)
Ah, and every party needs a pooper. (26:06)
Even if it's the president. (7:23)
It's the end of the world as we know it, I feel fine. (48:41)
(laughing) I don't get it. (18:26)

From The Shout! Box Set #38 XXXVIII

Sunday, August 4, 2019

MST3K Invasion of the Neptune Men Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


(music with alien sounds) (10:20 & 14:24-14:28)
(clanking noise)
(16:22)
(squeaking sound)
(13:37)
(some weird chicken sound)
(13:04)
(kids alarmed in unison)
(13:39)
What's that? (13:06)
(music with bell ringing)
(8:10)
Ooh! (14:38)
Yahh! (14:36)
(gasp)
(15:07)
Uhh! (15:10)
Eeh! (14:42)
Ohh! (14:38)
Yahh! (14:36)
Eeh! (14:42)
(gasp) (15:07)
Yahh! (14:36)
Ah! (14:54)
(whooshing sound)


Most of these sound bits are pulled directly from the original {Invasion of the Neptune Men} but there seem to be a few bits of the riffing from the MST3K episode thrown in. The whooshing sounds were added in by the menu creators.

From The Shout! Box Set #37 XXXVII

Saturday, August 3, 2019

MST3K The Horror Of Party Beach Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


(singing) Well yeah everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it now. (18:29)
(suspenseful music) (20:52 & 20:58)
(screaming) (29:20)
(monster sounds) (17:58)
(singing) Whoa-whoa-whoa, wiggle wiggle, whoa-whoa-whoa, wobble wobble.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, wiggle wiggle, whoa whoa whoa whoa, wobble wobble.
Little bit of wiggle, and a little bit of wobble, and a, yeah come on mama.
Do it, do it, do it, doing it, now. (19:42)

*The riffing is absent in this menu, being pulled from the original film. Here's a crappy copy with bad sound quality of {The Horror of Party Beach} if you want to check it out. However the timestamps still apply to the MST3K episode.

From The Shout! Box Set #37 XXXVII

Friday, August 2, 2019

MST3K Escape 2000 Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


(The film's closing theme music) (1:26:32)
Owhh! Oh my God, you coulda killed me, dude!*
Oh my God! Whoa!*

*These are nowhere in the episode at all and were added in by the menu creators.

From The Shout! Box Set #37 XXXVII

Thursday, August 1, 2019

MST3K Human Duplicators Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Cosmic Agent Kolos, what is your report?
I wish to report to the Intergalactic Council that my carrier has arrived on
station as programmed. (10:51)
I await further orders. (10:58)
The primary objective of your mission to the planet Earth, is to establish a colony.
I understand the importance of the mission. (11:22)
I am not finished.
In the advanced society of the planet...
To aid in your mission is professor Vaughan Thornhammer.
Hammer?
Ham...Hammer?
Heimer, I think it's Heimer.
He is a respected scientist in this society.

I understand, master. (11:35)
If you are discovered, if you should fail...
I will not fail. (11:45)
Yes, but if you should fail...
I will not fail. (11:45)
(sighing) We have to say that for the gallery prism. (?)
In the event of your failure, you will be destroyed.

I understand, master. (11:35)
Okay. Well. Get on over to-through the tele-transporter and we'll take it out.
Vaughan Hamdinger!
Ahh-ahh-ahh! Ahh yes!

Hamdinger, that was it.

The green text indicates that those lines are added in by the menu creators and not in the MST3K episode at all.

From The Shout! Box Set #37 XXXVII

Thursday, October 18, 2018

MST3K Stranded In Space Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Now let's see if we can strand this baby. (6:43)
Eh, stick it baldy. (55:55)
What was that? (55:57)
Ah nothing sir, I said I'd get 'em all. (55:58)
That one doesn't work anymore. (6:32)
I had Jell-O today. (1:00:08)
Cool! Wow! (1:26:39)
Jell-O? (11:18)
Yeah I'm not going that far. (26:16)
Really? (37:33)
Hmm. Hmm. (1:22:42)
Ah, what the heck. (1:32:22)
Wait a minute. (1:26:28)
Seizure! Oh! Ah! (8:25)
Uh! Ah! Oh that one. (24:45)
(out of breath breathing) (1:26:23)
Now see what did that have to do with the movie? (6:22)
Nothing. Nothing. (6:24)

From The Shout! Box Set #36 XXXVI

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

MST3K The Incredible Melting Man Menu Ensembles

The Menu (Skin Version)
The Menu (No Skin Version)
The Episode


Skin Version Menu
No one has ever seen anything like this. (7:37)
It's pretty up here. (1:18:00)
They have Jell-O today, Steve. (27:21)
Magnificent! (8:13)
Somebody better start melting pretty soon or I'm gonna lose patience. (6:37)
Well I wouldn't worry about it. (18:06)
(ringing sound) Guh-shooo (49:41)
Oh! (1:22:34)
Ahh! (1:29:00)
Otchka melting man. (19:50)
Oh! (1:22:29)
D'oh. Oh my stars. (32:05)
God, I've never seen a man puddle like this. (1:09:57)
So is this the incredible part? (56:54)
Uh! (1:25:04)
Not good. (32:26)
You know, he may not recover from this. (1:23:01)
Really, thank you, you've been great. (7:20)
Thank you. (4:47)

No Skin Version Menu

No one has ever seen anything like this. (7:37)
It's pretty up here. (1:18:00)
They have Jell-O today, Steve. (27:21)
Magnificent! (8:13)
Somebody better start melting pretty soon or I'm gonna lose patience. (6:37)
Well I wouldn't worry about it. (18:06)
(ringing sound) Guh-shooo (49:41)
Oh! (1:22:24)*
Ugh?! (1:29:18)**
Otchka melting man. (19:50)
Ooh whoa. (1:22:36)*
D'oh. Oh my stars. (32:05)
God, I've never seen a man puddle like this. (1:09:57)
Oh! (1:22:34)*
So is this the incredible part? (56:54)
Uh! (1:25:04)
Not good. (32:26)
Oh. (1:22:29)*
You know, he may not recover from this. (1:23:01)
Really, thank you, you've been great. (7:20)
Thank you. (4:47)
Ohh-ohh (1:22:29)*
Ohh! (1:22:34)*

*There are two menus, but only by a few added sound bits and lines as well as the visuals.
**And one sound replacement in regards to the "Skin Version" menu.

From The Shout! Box Set #36 XXXVI

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

MST3K City Limits & Riding With Death Menu Ensembles

The Menu
The Episode

(The film's opening theme music) (10:31)

The Menu
The Episode

(The film's opening theme music) (6:26)

From The Shout! Box Set #36 XXXVI

Friday, October 12, 2018

MST3K Deathstalker & Warriors From Hell Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Doodooloodoodoodoot (vocalizing) (1:25:27)
Hey act natural. (31:19)
Oh you're here. (1:20:58)
He's Batman. (10:59)
Squeak, squeak, (giggling), squeak. (26:23)
Five bucks. Oh hi, okay. Why me? (23:31)
This is great. (24:33)
Be careful, honey. (26:21)
Geez, what a cold fish. (23:44)
(three whirring sounds in a row) (30:49)
Uh, uuh, uhh. (1:18:13)
You have to hold still. (1:13:39)
Uh, uhh. (1:18:16)
Oh mama. (9:49)
What do you think? Huh? Huh? Like it, hmm? (1:05:21)
Uugh. (2:53)
That's entertainment! (laughing) (34:57)

From The Shout! Box Set #35 XXXV

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

MST3K 12 to the Moon Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Uh, there's a thing there, that thing right there. (47:37)
Is it evil, what do you think? (1:01:12)
Go on, touch it! I dare ya! Touch it! Touch it. (52:27)
Teh! Oh that's gonna make the rocket go? (23:53)
Just hope you know what you're doing? (43:49)
You guys have to follow me everywhere? (45:20)
Alright, you ready? (4:58)
I can't go, I got a family. (1:20:47)
What is your problem?! (5:08)
What? (48:13)
I'm sorry. (31:47)
Parkay. (0:29 *a)
Hi! (17:36)
What's going on down there? (50:53 *b)
Hey. Who is that? (42:05)
What the hell do you know about it? (1:07:19 *b)
Oh boy, what's this, six to the moon? (55:14)
(flute sound) Ahh! Ah! (7:08 *c)
Mister B Natural, at your service. (7:16 *c)
Ugh! (8:27)
Ohh! (45:53)
Fire in the hole. (52:08)
(explosion) (52:09)
Whoa! (16:31)
Whoo! (45:49)
(slight giggle) (54:47)

*a is from the menu {Daddy-O}
*b is from the episode {Space Travelers}
*c is from the episode {War of the Colossal Beast}

From The Shout! Box Set #35 XXXV

Monday, October 8, 2018

MST3K Being From Another Planet Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Ta-da! (1:24:01)
Isis, the god of love. (6:29)
(laughing) (35:23)
Ah, well. (21:04)
No, it's that thing again! (46:28)
Oh boy, here comes that evil asthmatic. (1:08:56)
Ooh! Nuh! (41:50)
Ooh look at his hand! (50:43)
Hehehuh shiny heh. (36:21)
(imitating Jack Palance) Choose wisely. (5:18)
Donuts! (46:25)

From The Shout! Box Set #35 XXXV

Sunday, October 7, 2018

MST3K Teenage Cave Man Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode


Doodoodoo, doodoodoo...d'huh? (1:23:04)
What's this? (1:28:56)
Ross. (20:25)
Oh him again. (1:06:35)
I'm Trumpy! Oh yeah. (54:35)
What a dope. (1:21:34)
Hey buddy, want an apple? Hahahah. (53:25)
Whoa! (16:54)
Uh oh. (59:37)
That's nice. (18:34)
Hmm? Uh, let me guess, he's evil? (1:08:41)
I love you, come on, you can say it. Come on. (1:19:53)
Uh I love you too. (1:19:57)
Wild cat! (16:42)
(laughing) (1:16:00)
That guy's pretty, that guy's funny. Yeah actually. (1:16:03)

From The Shout! Box Set #35 XXXV