Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Movie Review - Caveman

Today is "Caveman"

Starring Ringo Starr, Barbara Bach, Shelly Long and Dennis Quaid

About one billion B.C. and somewhere on October 9th, the saga of the cavemen begins. Everyone in this movie wears bearskins; the proper caveman attire, and runs away from dinosaurs. A nearby Ice Age has a lurking yeti who cannot tread ice very well. The struggle of the humble caveman goes something like a war story and unfolds like the first ever prehistoric battle of wits and territory. Due to the warlike cavemen who have a rather impressive cave community and can't stand that there are many tribes of people who may eat the earth of all its resources. Their leader is a tyrant and an all-around jerk. While the dinosaurs eat better than the cast (and including some of the cast), it's safe to assume that the earth's resources have just started to kick in with wild, butt-squeezing foliage, pools of nose-clamping crabs, massive eggs sunnyside-up, and plenty of weird red berry plants that can knock-out any macha that comes along. Also a handy rooster/cricket/coyote dinosaur that greets both sunrise and moonrise.

No one speaks any English, they all speak a primitive form of Macha Latin. Except for this one guy who DOES speak English, and speaks it very well. Yeah, he's the Chinese guy in this film.

This has been my Movie Review. Mind your step!

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