MST3K Outlaw (of Gor) Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Tarl Cabot is yours, your majesty, yours! (1:06:57)
Hey guys! (43:46)
Oh please, let's not have another vague scene. (1:13:31)
All kneel to Lara, Queen of Koruba. (1:20:31)
Or not, whatever is okay with you guys. (1:20:35)
Hey! (5:02)
Aa ha ha ha, you Cabot, ehh... (1:14:04)
He must be killed! (1:08:17)
I'm supposed to be some kind of freakin' wizard! (1:09:42)
Wha ha ha ha hoo! (5:06)
What? (18:38)
I like it, I like... (1:28:26)
Thank you. (1:22:38)
I've got a a good one, uh, uh how about (1:28:11)
Why? Why? (1:09:55)
Are you satisfied? (1:07:42)
Uh, awkward moment. (1:06:14)
Wha ha ha ha hoo! (5:06)
Ahoo hoo hoo! (23:27)
Whee hee hee! (1:10:36)
Go! (19:06)

*Thanks again to Dave Long for his help on this one by sending the .wav file to the weird Tom Servo laugh.

From The Shout! Box Set #30 XXX

MST3K The Projected Man Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Projected man! (27:34)
Come on, pizza face, get your projected butt out here. (1:22:35)
Nothing can help me. (1:23:39)
What? (29:50)
Stop right there, careful. (1:08:56)
I need power. (1:17:23)
What? (29:50)
No, don't touch that, or that, or that. (1:05:31)
Uh, I really control it and stuff, uh. (15:57)
No! (17:42)
(raspy breathing) (1:23:39)
That I'm beginning to understand. (1:11:38)
What? (29:50)
(sound of a switch) We're on! (9:21)
Whoo hoo! Yay, heh heh, whoo hoo, there they go. Hmm. (25:27)
There, he's projected, the end. (9:17)
Pshew! (1:11:33)
Ugly dummy. (27:12)

From The Shout! Box Set #30 XXX

MST3K It Lives By Night Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(Sounds of bats in cave) Ah come on, you're pinching my wing! (1:25:08)
Look, he's spying on us, you guys. (1:01:46)
Something down here makes me feel primitive. (13:53)
Be groovy, okay. (26:31)
Look. (1:05:23)
I'm a bat. (1:05:25)
Oh hi. (22:21)
I mean, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. (1:21:37)
I'm not a bat! I mean, uh... (36:24)
(snores and whistles) Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. (41:56)
You can go home now. (7:16)
(man screaming/woman screaming) (40:59/1:16:27)
Devils! Death! (3:03)
(screaming gasping sound) (1:16:29?)
Kathy! (14:19)
I hope that's okay. (1:15:15)
Do we get outta here? (14:47)
Kathy! (14:23)
Whoo we got 'em! (25:37)
Stop it. (9:13)
Ha ha ha ha ha. (6:10)

From The Shout! Box Set #30 XXX

MST3K The Thing That Couldn't Die Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Go on, do it. Heh heh. Go on. (13:36)
Open me! Mmh mmh mmh. (1:14:06)
So how do you like my new body? Hmm? (56:19)
Ah sure, but let's get back to work now. (1:20:23)
It's hard science. (9:42)
Really, why? (14:35)
Cause it comes from Hell. (16:25)
Okay. (11:10)
Well. Uh. Mm. (21:00)
Uh? Uh? Uh huh. (2:06)
Ah. Ah. Oh my. Well...yeah, yeah. (2:09)
Ah! Yeah. (2:18)
That's weird. (1:12:25)
Oh no, she's getting squishy. (13:30)
'S that really a good idea? (4:26 & 1:20:04)*
Hey! Jerk! (25:06)
I guess I'll just have a pork chop. (1:22:32)

*In the menu Servo is saying "'s that really a good idea?" but in the linked episode he is saying "is this really a good idea?" The line was created out of two separate lines and edited together. The line at the beginning of the episode when Servo says 'no bodies, that is fantastic!' was used. It was that line that was placed right before the line 'really a good idea'. Both timestamps are noted.

From The Shout! Box Set #29 XXIX

MST3K The Pumaman Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

With my brains and your beauty. (12:35)
(menacing laughter) (1:06:16)
There he is. (1:06:27)
Pumaman! (1:02:05)
The slack-wearing superhero. (55:52)
What do you want from me? (22:19)
Hahahahaha no I mean you look great. Really. (30:14)
Who are you anyway? (22:11)
I can make you wobble. (1:15:05)
Oops missed him better go home, I did what I could. (1:21:11)
Lemme try! (12:02)
You idiot! (34:43)
Uh, didn't have quite the impact I was hoping. (1:12:27)
(menacing laugh) (1:19:23)
(nervous laugh) (6:06)
Bye pal. (35:19)
Whoa hey! (22:23)
Oh no you...whoa-whoa-look out! Oh! Oh Mrs. English lady, etc. (58:11)
(mocking scared sounds) (58:15)
I have slacks like that. (1:08:24)

From The Shout! Box Set #29 XXIX

MST3K Untamed Youth Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Oh man, I'm not getting paid enough. (1:09:20)
Bob. (1:09:21)
Happy birthday! (1:14:12)
Thanks very large. (47:17)
Get rid of that! (26:11)
Hey, watch what you're doing there. (1:50)
Come here! (15:11)*
Ouch! (3:13)
You got 15 minutes to get off of this place. (15:25)
Stupid human. (1:14:04)
That's just about enough outta you, buster. (1:10:22)
D'ohh! (3:26)
Okay, kid. On your way. (26:24)
Stop calling me kid! (50:38)
You're halfway back to the pokey right now. (21:06)
Can I watch? (43:45)
I can take care of myself. (50:28)
Got a shove. Bye bye. Oh. (36:18)
I'm cooking with Crisco now? (2:31)
Go. (56:13)
Medic. (1:02:56)
Ugh! (43:18)
(slight goofy sound) (40:32)
Hey, I got a girl, I got a girl. (40:32)
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. (49:29)
Nice tag. (7:24)
He's a fighter. (1:23:46)

*From the original film without the riffing, which is at (4:30) in this clip of {Untamed Youth}.

From The Shout! Box Set #29 XXIX

MST3K Moon Zero Two Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(sung) Moon zero two (1:32:36)
Ugh! (24:09)
Hey-hey the cartoon has landed. (4:52)
Oops. (1:07:02)
Oops. (29:08)
Looks like we got company. (1:07:03)
Whoa! (1:14:53)
Oh my. (42:54)
Darn those space coons, they got into the garbage again. (9:51)
Hey. He's on the other side. He's where you were. (5:46)
I got it. I got it okay. (1:36:04)
Hey he flipped him off. (12:12)
Thank you very much. (58:41)
Darn coons in my rickin frakin sumin... (10:36)
Rock it, Joel. (5:53)
So long suckers. (1:31:22)
Ya, yee ah, yee ah! Fire it, Sparky. (1:32:29)
Ya Hoo. Whoo. Whoo hoo*. (1:32:32)
Whoo hoo hoo! (1:32:33-34)

*Most likely repeated from the 'whoo hoo hoo' bit with one 'hoo' left out. However there is a very similar 'Whoo hoo' in the episode {Operation Double 007} that occurs at 51:54. But I believe the sound bit here is actually from Moon Zero Two though.

 From The Shout! Box Set #28 XXVIII

MST3K The Day The Earth Froze Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Make the witch a Sampo, what the heck was I thinking anyway? (55:30)
Where the frickin' Sampo, or the crit of witch krit krafs. (47:58)
What have we here? (1:20:39)
Morning. (1:00:35)
Mmm, a good heft. (53:40)
I need the Sampo. (42:12)
(snickers) (31:49)
Unh! (56:20)*
Okay, okay, okay. (42:45)
How's the Sampo? (1:01:36)
Sorry, Sampo's off. (49:50)
Ahhhh! (54:25)
Oh I hate this infernal routine. (49:03)
This is my favorite bit he does, watch this, it's good. Ho-ho-hoo! (1:02:21)
(sung) He failed to bring back the Sampo! Sampo! (1:03:09)
(sung) We shall die of starvation! Sampo! (1:03:12)
How much longer do you expect me to put up with your absurdness so? (25:55)
Ahem. (1:21:21)
Well you don't have to yell. (40:38)
Just shut up. (31:30)
Remember the Sampo, buddy. (1:26:02)

*From {Rocket Attack USA} which is linked in the timestamp.

From The Shout! Box Set #28 XXVIII

MST3K The Leech Woman Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Make a hole people, white man. (50:51)
Oh hello. (57:41)
Hey Crow. (2:42)
You are the one in my dreams of blood. (12:31)
Eh, she says that to everybody. (18:30)
Just tuck your head in there real nice like. (1:12:27)
Oh! Okay, I feel a little silly, but okay. (1:12:29)
Tom, I don't mean to butt in but... (49:44)
Now! No! (1:28:22)
No! What? Ah Mike? (1:11:49)
Yeah? (51:14)
Heh heh, okay honey, the joke's over. (52:01)
(laughing) (1:11:44)
Now go on. Scram, pal. (55:03)
Go rock someone's world. (55:26)
Don't you want to see me made young again? (39:26)
Eh, to hell with it. (1:18:54)
Yes! (42:47)
Hey! (3:36) or (58:44)
Who wants pineal? (52:18)
(sung) Pineal. (1:00:42)
Oh I guess I'm fine. (37:09)

From The Shout! Box Set #28 XXVIII

MST3K Gorgo Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Well hey, what's this? (1:05:35)
Lice for sale! Chiggers and lice! (12:18)
Insulation on a stick! (49:32)
(scoffs) Great. Gorgo ate another elephant. (51:47)
Hi there, cutie. (50:48)
Not much. You? (14:04)
Coitenly. Nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck. (56:56)
Don't fuss so over me, please! (1:00:39)
Look at those two, it's disgusting. (1:02:33)
Dah. (2:40)
Wooh wooh wooh nyuck nyuck nyuck. (56:36)
Did you say (19:16)
Dic kro-me en a kipe is it da sausagy? (16:56)
Beg your pardon? (16:03)
You'll need to change him. (53:20)
(laughing) (1:25:18)
Then we'll go beat up some clowns. (52:47)
(laughing) (1:25:23)
We killed him, Mo. Hee hee. (58:46)

From The Shout! Box Set #28 XXVIII

MST3K Mitchell & The Brain That Wouldn't Die Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode - Mitchell
The Episode - The Brain That Wouldn't Die

Brain: Wonder which of us is more awful? (1:07:45)
Mitchell: Alright (1:24:37)
Mitchell: You want me to take my clothes off? (23:37)*
Brain: (Laughs) (48:04 or 48:12) (40:07)*
Mitchell: The way I see it, you first. (59:51)*
Brain: No, my deformed friend. (48:28)** or (40:24)
Mitchell: Please, pretty please with sugar on it? (47:39)*
Brain: (Laughs) (45:01)*
Mitchell: Why not? (57:31)
Brain: I'm only a head. (52:22)
Mitchell: Aww, well. (1:23:04)**
Brain: A head without a body. (1:07:56)
Mitchell: Hmm. (24:04)*
Brain: You understand me. (52:18)
Mitchell: That's what's bothering me. (46:37)*
Brain: I hate him. (1:08:07)
Mitchell: (Sighs) (47:58)

*From the original movie in a scene that wasn't in the episode but I linked in the time stamp to the original movie where the line occurs.
**From the original film without the MST3K riffing.
The music in the menu is from The Brain That Wouldn't Die.

From The Shout! Box Set #28 XXVIII

Song Break - A Song About Canada

Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice-covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!

Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur.
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister.

Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!
No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!

Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario, heh heh!
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it?
Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of shit.

MST3K Village Of The Giants Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Well? (47:11)
Okay let's take it from the top. (59:20)
Uh! Oh my, oh my word. (4:42)
(rrrr) (11:03)
Man, they're big. (52:36)
What isn't, w-what's going...did I miss a page? (1:01:18)
Should 'a someone mention they're big? (50:41)
Hm. I see, yeah. (42:53)
Uh think they'd mind if we all left? (53:24)
Ha ha ha ha. Hee. (58:13)
Wow-ow. You know they don't look that big to me. (5:03)
And they smell weird. (12:27)
Oooww! (54:12)
Yes! (laughter) Alright! Alright! Ha ha ha! (54:22)
Sorry honey. (1:01:01)
Frickin' Vader people. (1:04:11)
Ha ha ha. Eh. (50:22)

From The Shout! Box Set #27 XXVII

MST3K Rocket Attack U.S.A. Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Unh. (56:20)
Oh here he comes. Oh. (1:08:14)
Yeah. (27:41)
Help me. (1:30:24)
Ahem. Mm. (1:07:36)
Okay careful. Careful through here. There you go. (1:07:19)
Oops. (1:00:45)
Help me. (1:30:24)
Is he supposed to be British? (1:03:52)
He's a spy. (37:43)
Okay. (1:28:32)
Limey, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. (59:57)
Help me. (1:34:54)
Clutch. (1:27:34)*
No, after you. No you go first. I insist. Age before beauty. (1:03:02)
After all you've taken the worst of it. (1:07:01)
(explosion) (1:32:35)
Well, that's not good. (1:23:53)
Geesh. (1:23:05)
But I feel fine. (10:19)
Ha ha ha ha ha, what a joker, huh? Huh hah. (1:20:16)

*Not entirely sure if 'Clutch' is correct but it sounded like that was what Servo was saying.

From The Shout! Box Set #27 XXVII

MST3K The Deadly Mantis Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Gentlemen, we face an enemy which is yucky. (1:18:35)
Ah man, what a beautiful night for flying. Hey! (1:14:15)
Scootch over, over. (1:13:47)
I hope my operatives are alright. (1:20:51)
Just glad to know you guys are backing me up, I-I think we should, hey! (1:22:49)
Ah sir, I just remembered you didn't tell us what your plan is or anything. (1:21:39)
Over. (1:14:55)
What are you guys doing up there? (12:55)
Oh, could I get some ginger ale and saltines? I feel yucky. (1:26:05)
Oh I'll go get it, ya big babies. (1:10:22)
Good luck. (41:53)
Hi, deadly mantis, hi! (1:23:53)
Hit it! (1:27:39)
Ohh yeah! I-I took most of that. (1:11:20)
This is a bug hunt, man, a bug hunt! (1:20:10)
Fine. Hell with you guys. (1:00:11)
Hand of the mighty, uhhh. (1:22:25)
Good one, Colonel, over. (1:15:10)
Thanks and goodnight, everybody. (20:21)

From The Shout! Box Set #27 XXVII

MST3K The Slime People Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

It's a butcher shop. How fitting. (1:03:55)
(whistling) Bahh-uhh (whistling) (2:21)
(sniffing) (54:18)
Smells like...slime. (57:03)
Which one? (39:45)
(raspy inhaling) (22:23)
He-he-hey! How ya doing? (1:39)
What's everyone want, burgers, chicken? (1:01:19)
Mmmm. (45:18)
Hey what kind of price you got on ground chuck today? (1:04:47)
It is the apocalypse, you know. (1:04:07)
(car horn) Huh? (24:12)
(screaming) (1:15:07)
What was that? (1:15:13)
Oh look, they're serving hors d'oeuvres. (18:36)
Well this is my lucky day. (11:14)
Wha-ha-ha-ha. (49:24)
Bye guys. (1:16:16)
It was just getting interesting. (50:07)
Really? (51:59)
Well, you've been really worthless. (1:32:55)*
Thanks for your help. (1:32:59)
Nice tag there. (1:29:42)
Guilty! (33:58)
I'm keeping it. (27:07)

*The line originally had the name Cal in it but it was taken out. And note that there are several instances where sounds are cut to shorten them.

 From The Shout! Box Set #27 XXVII

MST3K Alien From LA Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

There's a world going on underground, doo doo doo... (32:56)
Where the heck is everybody? (6:58)
Hey wait a minute! (29:50) *
What the? Who her? (1:21:37)
Bitchin'. (39:41)
Oh what I wouldn't give for all... (1:22:45)
Oh, no, no. (50:59)
Oh hi! Ha ha. (1:22:46)
Giggles (1:22:43)
Tuh' over randy there, sorry. (1:22:24)
I'm Wanda Saknussemm. (1:13:16)
Sniff sniff. Sniff. (56:46)
Servo! Tom Servo! (2:25)
Huh! (35:41)
Come on, come on, come on over. (34:15)
whaddya got? (1:28:31)
Work with us, honey. (34:17)
Sure. (29:05)
Na-oh-uugh-oooah... (10:19)
I've got it, I've got it. (26:01)
Huh! (35:41)
Whoa poopie! (56:52)
Arrr, come closer me Wanda. (17:19)
Uhh? (40:06)
Could someone get me a bucket? I'm feeling queasy. (1:11:37)
YUCK! (46:05)
Oh pardon me! (1:00:20)
See where I come from... (33:23)
Here it comes. (1:13:23)
Sh! sh! (1:24:08)
What is that over there? (33:25)
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! (31:29)
Shut up! (1:16:23)
Okay (33:49)

*From the original film without the MST3K riffing.

From The Shout! Box Set #26 XXVI

MST3K The Magic Sword Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Ahh! (56:52)
Hey! (43:18)
Estelle. (1:08:38)
Uh, Ooh, Winwood? (1:08:39)
Okay act natural. (1:15:42)
Mirror of magic, bring me a vision of my boy. (47:02)
I'll take it from here. (48:46)
Oh yes, Sir Crow of Robot! (40:41)
(scoffs) In your dreams, buddy. (1:08:28)
(giggle) Very well. (20:50)
W. Sir Moron, come on dummy. (1:04:52)
Oh Estelle. (1:28:07)
Poor guy. (1:13:50)*
(random kissing sound effect)
Whoa ho! I didn't (ah) wanna see that. (22:40)
Later, later! (breathing coldly) (1:15:15)
Can I go now? (1:16:30)
I'll show you. (18:58)
(tsk) Yeah right. (2:56)
Well, here it goes.(1:18:15)
Ah-ohh. (37:39)
(whistle) (22:45)
Aye caramba. (1:18:29)
Oh for crying out loud! (37:00)
Thank you! Huh. (1:09:02)
Ahh. (1:00:16)
It really makes you think, don't it? (37:09)
Shut up, shut up! (35:46)

*The sound bit here is very similar to another one located at 1:05:30 but with another listen, it's the one that says 'poor guy' instead of 'oh boy' or 'okay' or whatever was mumbled at 1:05:30.

From The Shout! Box Set #26 XXVI

MST3K Danger Death Ray Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Crap, it's Danger Death Ray, I hate this movie. (1:22:33)
I got into the cooking sherry (hiccups) (1:22:51)
Scene could really use a bop-a-dop-a-da-da (9:54)
Bart. (1:07:55)
(sung) Why did you ever dance? (1:11:41)
Bart. (1:07:56)
Shubi-dubi-da. (1:11:44)
Bart. (1:07:56)
Hey! We're getting funky now. Yeah huh. (1:11:45)
Have you and the death ray gotten to know each other? (1:21:54)
(gasps) (27:30)
Eww, now it smells weird. (1:07:41)
Oops. Haha. (1:21:40)
Bart. (1:07:56)
Ah Hey, ugh. (1:26:09)
I think he's on his way. (40:24)
Bart. (1:07:58)
I'm nervous now. (1:24:12)
(laughing) (18:20)
Hey! I've seen you on TV! (1:26:17)
Nice little place you have. (37:21)
See what you made me do. (1:24:50)
Don't worry. (56:20)
You'll be alright. (1:21:08)*
Bing! Bop-a-dop-a-dop-a-do-dow. (36:03)
See you. (23:21)*
Wow. Boy, that's fun. I can't get enough of that! (36:06)
(slight laugh) (36:08)

*From the original film without the MST3K riffing, linked in the timestamps to the original movie where they occur there.

From The Shout! Box Set #26 XXVI

MST3K The Mole People Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(weird sounds) (1:19:17)
(distant falling and screaming sound) (6:03)
(sung) I'd rather be in some dark hollow, where the sun don't ever shine. (1:07:50)
(falling scream and crash) Oh! (6:11)
Oh-oh, right in the coconut. Owwee. Ow. (34:51)
Where the hell did I come from? (32:24)
Ha-ha ha-ha-ha. (1:30:02)
Servo! Yeah? Ha-ha. (1:13:52)
Oh, how are you guys? (1:13:53)
I hate archaeology. (19:06)
Ah. Treasure these brief moments. (27:51)
Hey! (42:35)
You got cave rats? (1:05:33)
Whoa. (1:14:51)
Come on, plenty of D-Cell for everybody. (1:10:42)
Look am-skray. (1:01:18)
D'oh no. (1:01:29)
Eh heh the... (1:10:48)
Flashlight. (1:21:48)
Did you tighten the peet, John? (35:04)*
Oh crap. (1:18:26)
Doh ho ho! (1:25:18)
Uh huh. (35:07)

*I have no idea what he's saying here but it's to do with the rocks caving in.

From The Shout! Box Set #26 XXVI