MST3K Robot Holocaust Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Come on, guys. (46:50)
Don't push (46:52)
It will benefit all of us if you co-operate. (31:31)
It's too late for that. (1:05:50)
They shall not come any closer. (1:00:43)
Whoa! (1:19:01)
What? (1:14:09)
The Dark One, the Dark One! (1:14:10)
See Dark One, I kept my promise. (1:17:16)
Your time runs short, Valaria! (1:08:35)
You blew it. (1:08:23)
But Dark One, I delivered... (1:17:26)
I am loosing patience, Valaria! (32:10)
No, Dark One, please! (1:12:35)
Should have expected it. (1:18:00)
Sure (1:31:28)
Aaaaaahhharrh! (1:18:01)
Ah / Stop (13:31) or (36:42)*
Dave. (22:49)
Uh oh. (1:01:15)
There isn't that better? (31:26)
Much better. (1:31:55)
Tell me about it. (1:05:38)
I know! (1:01:11)

*Disclaimer: I try to be as accurate as possible with the pieces culled from the MST3K episodes, however that doesn't guarantee that I have it 100 percent correct. For instance, in 'Robot Holocaust' I can't determine if the sound "Ah" is actually "Stop" or not. It does sound like that me on further listening with the way it's uttered. But I could not find any instance of it in the episode, film or host segments. But in the {Gamera} episode at 36:42 it does sound exactly like the same "Stop" that is uttered in this menu than in any place in the 'Robot Holocaust' episode.

From The Shout! Box Set #25 XXV

MST3K Operation Double 007 Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Now go! (1:09:44)
Ooh-hoo! (33:41)
What are you doing? (20:32)
Uh? (57:06)
Remember what I told you? (47:13)
Oh yeah I'm blind. Yeah blind. Eh eh. (1:02:10)
I have a feeling you better be get moving fast. (38:09)
Go! (38:11)
Oh I just got it. (1:26:58)
Is that okay? (16:16)
I'm sorry, but I can't help you. (30:48)
I wonder who that could...ooh! (21:59)
Did someone say fight? (1:10:33)
Hey that's not fair! (1:24:37)
Okay take back everything you ever said about me. (1:25:19)
Uh uh uh. Uh nugh. (1:23:38)
Gentlemen, please. (19:24)
Follow Zee everybody. (43:32)
We're leaving now, thanks. (22:06)
That went well, don't ya think that went well? (46:02)
Yes it did. (46:03)
Thought that went well. (46:04)

From The Shout! Box Set #25 XXV

MST3K Kitten With A Whip Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Hey, we have our kitten. Heh heh. (8:16)
Well, am I terrific? (21:40)
Hmm. Nice. (4:30)
Okay, you win. I'm in love with you. (31:40)
And will you kiss me? (14:27)
Alright. (16:19)
Oh-ohh. (17:41)
It might be fun. (31:10)
I like it rough. (12:28)
Well, go on killer, throw the dice! (31:34)
Alrighty then. (33:41)
Oh you touch me, buck, and you'll bleed. (1:00:13)
Okay remain calm (nervous laugh) (10:46)
(laughs) Just back away slowly. (1:10:51)
Now how much do you hate me? (33:54)
What the hell is your deal?! (1:10:00)
I'm just going to make it... (4:45)
Okay bye. (18:59)
Where is everybody? (15:47)

From The Shout! Box Set #25 XXV

MST3K Revenge Of The Creature Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Hey buddy, how ya doing? (35:59)
Aaahhaaahhhh! (3:44)
Ahhh-ahh! (3:46)
Eh-ahuh. (22:18)
A little help here? (32:56)
Look, I am doing it! (1:25:05)
Hey! Bite me! (36:06)
Just for tonight, can we get along? (1:23:29)
Don't, don't go there, man. (24:59)

From The Shout! Box Set #25 XXV

MST3K Samson Vs The Vampire Women Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(music) (7:00)
Should I get into my costume? (46:34)
Did I overdress? (46:03)
Look, you invited me here. (27:08)
I feel sorta silly right now. (46:01)
Uh, remember there are vampire women, so uh... (7:27)
Well, wake that lady up! Come on! (13:14)
(grunting) (50:56)
(coffin opening) (9:28)
Cee-ripes. (1:00:42)
Oh my God! (1:27:02)
Wow! (42:47)
Follow me, we'll search for human blood. (19:03)
(laughing) (45:57)
I guess we caught you at a bad time, lady. Heheh. (9:53)
I have great power and I will destroy you! (18:43)
Ow! (1:06:29)
(flaming sound)*
Ooh gee, shoulda seen that one coming. (1:03:59)
(scream) (9:22)
(coffin closing)*
Okay. Bye then. (1:25:44)
That mirror thing was pure genius. (31:51)
Ehh, it doesn't always work. (40:30)
Nope. (50:50)
(giggling) (46:35)
Oh fun. (6:37)

*Sound effects.

From The Shout! Box Set #24 XXIV

MST3K The Sword And The Dragon Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode 

(general theme music) (12:37)
(raspberry) (1:00:34)
Hom-de-de-de-doo. (1:07:43)
Am I alone here, hello? (1:13:40)
I have a plan. Oh no! (1:18:21)
First we must go back and find your mother. (1:18:22)
Ow! (57:43)
Hey, you nicked me. (43:42)
(raspberry) (1:00:34)
(whistling and wind sound) (21:21 or 31:25)
Oh-ohh! (28:11)
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. (12:58)
Fear not, little one. They shall harm you no longer. (37:54)
I hate him. (46:28)
I gotta blow. Ha ha ha. (32:49)
Traitorous villain. (47:12)
Give it up! (45:08)
(squeaking sound)*
Yow! (37:38)
You're gonna hit me, aren't you? (33:22)
Ivanushka? (18:10)**
Hey, hey, hey! Hey hey, you're in the wrong myth! (18:09)
Aah-hah! (screaming in distance) (1:22:06)
Okay, now punish me. (45:41)
(ding) (12:55)
I shall release you. (37:57)
Sound alright. (57:30)
Ow! (57:38)
I'm weary of this talk. (50:29)
Damn confusing kingdom here. (1:01:36)

*Sound effects.
**From the episode {Jack Frost} which is linked in the timestamp.

From The Shout! Box Set #24 XXIV

MST3K Fugitive Alien Menu Ensembles

Fugitive Alien  
The Menu  
The Episode

Gonna be a fight. (1:05:18)
Neat, huh? (49:29)
Fight, okay. (1:05:20)
Um, call me Ken. Okay, Ken. (58:25)
Shoot Ken! (10:51)
Which Ken? (10:54)
Kill them both! (10:53)
It sounded like Ken. (15:35)
Hmmh? (1:09:20)
Come on. You chicken? Come on kill me. Come on, chicken. (1:29:23)*
(laser blasts) (1:22:08)**
Whaa-ah! (6:58)
Not me you idiot! No! (1:22:26)
Ken. Go after Ken. (1:00:53)
Oh my foot! Ow. (1:27:54)
Ooh. Ooh. Uanh. (1:22:16)
You're a disgrace to all Kens. (11:32)
I've got a crazy star wolf idea that just might work. (1:09:21)
Aahhh! I've been killed by an action figure. (8:49)
(struggling-nyah-nyah) (13:23)
You won't get away with it, Ken! (11:49)
Come here you! (1:31:18)
(coughing) (27:21)***
Come on! (1:31:19)
Danke schön. (17:56)
Um. Oops. (35:07)
Hah hah you pile of space crap. Heh heh heh heh. (56:22)

*The line in the episode has an extra word 'chicken' that was omitted.
**Laser blasts sounds overlap the next four lines.
***Sounds as if it's the first cough looped three times.


Star Force: Fugitive Alien II  
The Menu 
The Episode

I knew Vo Tech would pay off. (27:57)
Ah, boy, this is tough. (3:31)
I know it's familiar. (1:17:14)
Ah cheap Japanese crap, let's get...what?! (26:39)
That's one of those nutclusters. (13:27)
Get me a spoon. (1:22:45)
(whooshing)*
Hi-keeba. (49:48)
Ah-kay let's see here. (25:48)
(clicking sound) (1:10:52)
Yeah. (53:22)
Try her out. (1:19:54)
(electric shocking) Ooh. (53:23)
I'm huge! (57:08)
(singing) Big head, big head, we're talking big... (6:04)
Big as all outdoors. (5:18)
What's up? (12:49)
(spoon hitting against window shield)*
Wahh! (31:34)
Where the hell did you come from? (1:22:42)
What's going on? (12:50)
Ughooh! (9:46)
Olé! (37:26)
Huh-ho-oh, it's starting over! Ow! (35:55)
(gasping) (38:04)
Peeky-boo. (25:44)
That's a dirty trick you played on me. (47:19)**
Huh? Cheap Japanese crap. Ehh-dah, tsk. (26:04)
Ha ha ha. (40:04)

*Sound effect.
**Sped up to sound like a chipmunk.

From The Shout! Box Set #24 XXIV

MST3K Last Of The Wild Horses Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(music) (6:45)
Get the doomsday machine! (46:15)
(laughing) (4:00)
Gotta shoot you. (54:24)
Hey, come on! I was kidding! He'hey wait! (46:01)
Shut up, yeoman Crow. (5:18)
Well, Captain Mike. (4:13)
(laughing) (3:55)
Ha ha! What? (36:32)
Mad, aren't you? I can tell you're mad. (1:23:17)
(laughing) (3:55)
Get him! Kill him! (1:21:52)
You traitorous pigs?! (24:22)
Just don't tickle me. (1:23:21)
Delay that order. (1:09:12)
(laughing) (5:35)
(more laughing) (5:38)
Hold on! (57:24)
Ho, ho, ho. (35:30)
You scuffed my hair, you dink. (27:14)
You know, this just might be an alternate, alternate universe. (1:08:38)*
Well duh! (1:08:42)

*The word 'alternate' is looped to repeat so it sounds like it's said twice.

From The Shout! Box Set #23 XXIII

MST3K Code Name Diamond Head Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(music) (33:03)
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! Hmhm mmmh. (44:40)
Oh hey, that's my scar. (12:30)
Ah-ha-ha-ha (giggling) (1:24:42)
Now some red, red lipstick. To bring out my teeth. (34:00)
Guess who? (30:41)
Well hello, e nomine Patris. (17:37)
Go in peace and live no more. (20:33)
Ah-haa-haa-ha. (3:33)
I'm Lovejoy. (17:43)
Whoh, I'm, hmm, ahem, hmm, mm, mm. (53:04)
Ah, you wrecked the game. (22:35)
Hmm. (50:38)
Ah what'dya think, huh? (1:29:32)
Whoa! Wow! (35:41)
Acting. (1:19:13)
I don't know. (47:26)
Tom Jones. (48:25)
(cough cough) Diamond. (54:33)
Yeah. Uh. (mumbling) (17:31)
(whaa-choo) Diamond Head! (54:35)
Hold it. Turn. Beautiful! (48:06)
Excuse me! (1:15:35)
Oh wait! I wanna read new signings! (25:27)
Alright, that's it, little boy! Come on! (25:28)
Dope. Tsk. (25:47)
Hey. (1:16:44)
Feel better? (52:33)
Ha ha, keh. (19:45)
Hfft. You. (1:00:03)

From The Shout! Box Set #23 XXIII

MST3K The Castle Of Fu Manchu Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(music) (10:53)
It's the boss! (43:45)
Ooh. (32:27) or (52:39)*
And he's stuffed. (51:12)
(singing) Real bad man with a plan that's Fu ooh ooh. (11:02)
Manchu, spit it out honey. (48:15)
You are no stranger to me. (1:14:38)
No. (50:14)
Here let me see that. (24:19)
He will die an extremely painful death. (53:44)**
What? (18:30)
Alone. (1:09:38)
Hey! (16:02)
He will die for the sake of science. (53:20)***
Yeah cripes, this again. (51:46)
Enemy. (1:15:06)
Help me, somebody please help me. (1:03:38)
I will bring desolation to mankind. (1:05:05)****
Well, why didn't you do this earlier? (1:24:35)
Well, it's great though. (59:51)
Whooch. Eech. (33:48)

*More likely the 'ooh' at the (52:39) time mark is the correct one used here.
**The first part of the line is from (53:20) for the words 'He will die' then goes on.
***Line was cut to take out the pause that the actor delivered in the original film.
****The sigh heard overlapped during this line is at (1:05:24)

From The Shout! Box Set #23 XXIII

MST3K King Dinosaur Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Come on! You bastards. I'm ready for you. (51:38)
Not me. (26:06)
Hey, this is important, pay attention. (26:07)
Well, time to drown the lemur. (1:05:55)
(tearing sound)*
Whoa! (1:27:35)
Whu-ou. Ehh. (44:22)
I thought I smelled something. (13:17)
Cute, huh? (38:26)
Heh heh cute little lemur. (1:01:20)
Heh heh heh. Hegh hegh. Kooky. (1:01:23)
Hey, I saw him first. (1:04:09)
(beastly sounds) (1:03:09)
Whoa! Ahh! (1:10:23)
(beast breathing) (1:00:10)
Whoa! (12:10)
He's down. (54:39)
Ooh. The pain. The pain. (29:44)
Come on! Man. (1:29:02)
(Ah! & belching)*
There you go! (37:27)
Haha. (27:09)
Oh yuck. (54:47)
Um. (1:09:41)
Up yours. (1:25:34)
(snickers) Yeah. Heehe. (13:21)

*Sound effects.

From The Shout! Box Set #23 XXIII

MST3K The Brute Man Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(music) (25:21)
Chickens! (12:56)
Can it wait? I'm fixing eggs. (45:22)
We represent the lollipop guild. (41:54)
Dear God I hate you! (36:22)
Aghh! Don't do that! (1:20:45)
I brought you something. (57:28)
Hi, creeper. (1:02:11)
Yep, sure is creepin' there. (46:36)
What's the matter? (56:15)
You don't trust me? (56:31)
No. Now lay off. (1:04:52)
Is it me? Am I sending off hostile vibes? (37:08)
No! (59:48)
It's me. (57:11)
Not my creeper. (1:23:00)
Oh boy. (sounding sick) (25:13)
Just let me come to see you. (59:34)
No you don't. (59:20)
Shut up! Crow. Shut up! Crow. Shut up! Crow. Go to bed! (4:18)
Uh? Hey! (giggling) (1:06:20)
(Gloop sound) (1:14:18)*
(singing in chicken) (23:54)
Shut up! (4:25)

*Cut off word from one of the film's lines by the main character. The line is: 'This is what you and Cliff did to me'.

From The Shout! Box Set #22 XXII

MST3K The Violent Years Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(jazz music playing in the background) (1:01:45)
Now I'll tell you a secret. (36:56)
Go away. (35:18)
It's the thrill that gets me. The thrill of the chase. (58:15)
Did anybody remember the potato salad? (56:17)
I'll go get it. (1:12:02)
Knock it off! (1:05:00)
Come on, let's go. Let's just go. Come on. (1:21:45)
Now back to you, handsome. (45:12)
Oh, your smouldering average-ness, stop me. (42:54)
Heh heh. Gonna kiss her? (42:59)
Whoo. (1:30:25)
Ah sounds fun! I gotta get outta here. (13:11)
Come on, come on, we haven't got all night. (44:02)
(mouthful of food sounds) (8:13)*
What are they doing? (1:28:33)
Sorry, but this so great. (45:08)
No. Don't. (14:14)
So what? (1:22:39)
Go ahead and punch him. (1:02:31)
This is one of the worst planned pajama parties ever. (1:06:10)
Yeah. Hahaha-haha. (1:30:16)

*From the original episode's line 'oh-cling-free' with the word 'free' spliced out.

From The Shout! Box Set #22 XXII

MST3K Mighty Jack Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

Mighty Jack! (7:30)
Now let's see what we have here. (34:09)
(case latches being opened)*
(gasp) (1:02:55)
Aawhh! Awh. (50:36-38)
Pick it up. (1:17:24)
(weird laughing) (1:21:17)
Hi-keeba. (43:27)
Hey, gimme a turn at that. Whoo it's fun. (36:32)
You have got to be kidding me, Crow! Tah! (45:38)
Think you're so smart. (45:57)
Don't you do it! Wha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (2:45)
Hoo hoo. (17:47)
(singing) Accidents will happen. (40:37)
Ah. (1:28:57)
(blasting) (1:21:30)
Oops. (1:05:09)
Poor guy. (42:48)
Well then. (41:35)
Ooah! (22:43)
Wait a minute! (14:42)
I've got the button. (14:46)
(blasting) (1:21:30)
Gonna use it, too. (14:48)
(blasting) (1:21:30)
(humming) (1:17:55)
(case opening)*
Mm, ah, what? What? (54:24)

*Sound effect.

From The Shout! Box Set #22 XXII

MST3K Time Of The Apes Menu Ensemble

The Menu
The Episode

(hatch opening) (9:37)*
Ooh. (36:01)
Hey. Yay! (1:33:37)
(belch) (34:56)
Oh. What was in that oatmeal? (7:00)
It's me. (47:55)
Frank, not now. (8:46)
Uh oh, no no, that's Pepe. (1:05:28)
Now, you magnificent son of a bitch! (16:55)
(hatch opening) (9:37)
Ooh! Ugh! Got a monkey. Agh! Oof. (9:38)
Oh. (58:19)
Hi. (22:16)
Please take me with you. (1:10:44)
Can I think about it? (1:11:08)
(biting)**
Ow! (46:43)
Oops. (38:12)
Ah, what do you want kid? (14:24)
Oh. Woh! (12:25)
Right on his head. (33:41)
(choking sounds) (40:01)***
Goodbye. Nice meeting you. (58:13)
Monkeys. I. Hate 'em. Ugh. (39:46)

*The sound of an opening hatch is in the film but the beeping is an additional effect.
**Sound effect added in by the menu's creator.
***Reversed, the chocking sound tappers off.

From The Shout! Box Set #22 XXII

MST3K Gamera Menu Ensembles

Gamera
The Menu
The Episode

(Gamera stomping and wailing sounds)*
Now what? (1:01:54)
Ah ugh! (33:33)
Escape! (1:05:25)
Ah haagh! (1:05:44)
I don't have the money I owe you, man. (33:17)
Watch it. (1:10:02)
Fly's open. Thank you, oh, darn. Doh. (34:45)
Now get away from me you old fruit. (1:19:20)
Youch! Ooh-hoo-hoo... (1:34:55)
Now what? (1:26:22)
This is Gamera, knock it off. (1:09:43)
I'll see you in Hell. (13:22)
And that's just a warning. (11:07)
Ah, finally. (1:33:23)
Camera! (5:36)
Aaaahh. (11:18)
Thank you, Cambot. (27:03)
Pretty. (11:21)

*The Gamera sounds at the beginning of the menu is used for all the episodes on Gamera. There are three sounds used, however because they used about two or three different sound effects for him, it's hard to find exactly where the three sounds are located. The opening for all five episodes' menus will be from this Gamera version.


Gamera vs Barugon
The Menu
The Episode

(Gamera stomping and wailing sounds)
Spotlight dance, Barugon. (1:12:49)
Doing the dog. (1:12:53)
Bad, bad. (1:14:36)*
Down boy. (1:17:39)*
Oh-ughh! (55:06)
Aw geez. (1:05:25)
A-hoogh-hoogh... (29:14)
I'm faking. (1:26:17)
We just gave him a rash. (1:26:35)
Got a better idea? (1:08:48)
Kill him. (1:21:54)
Maybe. (31:11)
Okay. I'm with ya! (56:27)
(Barugon screams) (1:29:33) (??)
Oh!-Ah! (54:29)
You've never given up on anything before, don't quit now, man! (26:41)
Ah shut up ya pathetic bastard. Get up! (1:27:40)
Ahem Excuse me, death, where is thy sting? (25:44)
Heeey! Gee lay off for a minute, would ya? (56:33)
Well, (sigh), that went well. (53:54)
Sorry. (1:02:07)

*The lines 'Bad, bad' and 'Down boy' are actually from 'Gamera vs Guiron' which I linked in the timestamp above.


Gamera vs Gaos
The Menu
The Episode

(Gamera stomping and wailing sounds)
(Gaos screaming minus riffing) (22:56) (??)
Mmh. Uh-oh, Gamera's homeboy. (17:25)
Doing it up, aren't they? (38:17)
No Gamera! (57:44)
Pull up, pull up, pull up! (57:47)
Uh-oh blindsided. Oh! Crosscheck. (1:25:35)
You know I'm beginning to think this is kinda cheap. (1:32:46)
Naah. (1:32:49)
Opps. (1:28:53)
Woech. (5:36)
Now what? (1:28:55)
Hey they charbroiled his foot. (1:02:01)
(Sniff) Ahh! (1:13:33)
Gosh that looks good, who wants heel? (1:02:58)
(Gaos squealing) (1:23:28)
Should I get the sauce? I'll get the sauce. (1:00:08)
(laser sound effect)
Aaagh! (51:22)
Oh yuck! (1:29:16)
(Coughing) (1:17:52 & 1:23:13)
Hope this doesn't effect the taste. (1:02:26)
(Gaos screams) (58:40) (??)
(both) Ah shut up! (1:26:15)
Ah. (1:26:26)
Uh nevermind. (1:00:38)


Gamera vs Guiron
The Menu
The Episode

(Gamera stomping and wailing sounds)
Hey. (59:44)
Heh Hello. (50:17)
Bye. (49:58)
Thank you, hello. (50:07)
Well you're quite wel-- oh cut it out. (19:38)
Ha-ha-ha-ha. (19:40)
(Piano) (1:33:36)
(Clearing throat) (25:20)
(singing) Somewhere out there is my...oh. (25:16)
Ha ha, go ahead cut loose, my friend. (Signal sound) (1:03:03)
(Piano) (1:33:36)*
(singing) Why must we sing this stupid song? (15:01)
(kids) Wait for me! Huh? (15:04)
(singing) It's getting really annoying, we apologize for it's lame. (15:05)
(singing) Now/we are filled with shame. (15:13)
Ta-da! (laugh) (15:16)
Thank you. Next show at 12:30, thank you everybody. Thank you. (31:55)
Hello. (49:55)

*The piano playing was taken from the same point in the episode but a note was taken out in the second instance.


Gamera vs Zigra
The Menu
The Episode

(Gamera stomping and wailing sounds)
No, no that's the machine that goes ping, turn on the sonar. (1:07:58)
Hey look, dots, jellybeans, Skittles... (16:23)
Mmm! (16:28)
Uh? (16:49) or (50:57)
(lightning sound effect)
Hey! (21:44)
Ha. (??)
I hate you, I hate you, you stupid little candy dish, eew. (57:12)
A message for you, sir. A message. (26:49)*
Zigra is your master now and you will obey me from now on. (1:17:46)**
Stay tuned. (47:56)
Spam, spam, spam... (34:04)
Whoa Gamera, you're on the air. (1:21:33)
Spam, spam, spam! (1:32:31)
And cheesy comestibles...Whoa-oh... (23:18)
Build a bridge out of him. (44:31)
Okay we get the point. (1:30:57)
(squashing) (52:46) or (53:30)
Oops. (1:26:15)
The horror. The horror. (1:30:32)

*The line 'A message coming for you, sir...' was altered to 'A message for you, sir...'
**This line is from the original film without the riffing.

From The Shout! Box Set #21 XXI